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The Dementia Daughter: A Journey Through Family Caregiving

Written by: Lauren Strait

A Personal Path to Supporting Loved Ones with Dementia

Nicole Smith, known as “The Dementia Daughter,” recently shared her powerful story on Health Futures with Bob Roth. As the eldest daughter in her family, Smith found herself navigating the complex world of dementia care for multiple family members simultaneously, while also raising five children.

For the full episode, CLICK HERE.

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Early Warning Signs That Something Was Different

Smith recalled the subtle changes that first indicated something wasn’t quite right with her mother. During a routine visit, her mother couldn’t remember regular family activities that had been happening for years, like her grandchildren’s regular sleepovers. These “that’s weird” moments, as Smith describes them, were early indicators that required attention but were easy to dismiss at the time.

Managing Multiple Care Situations

Within a single year, Smith faced three significant health challenges in her family:

  • Her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s
  • Her stepmother received a diagnosis of primary progressive aphasia
  • Her father required brain surgery for normal pressure hydrocephalus

The Creation of a Resource Guide

These experiences led Smith to write “Diagnosis Dementia: Your Guide for Elder Care Planning and Crisis Management.” The book serves as a practical toolkit for families facing similar challenges, offering resources, guidance, and support for navigating the complex medical, legal, and emotional aspects of dementia care.

Key Advice for Families

Smith emphasizes several crucial points for families:

  • Have early and frequent conversations about long-term care planning
  • Work with an elder law attorney to prepare proper documentation
  • Pay attention to subtle changes in behavior during holiday gatherings
  • Watch for signs like “couch surfing” (using furniture for balance) or withdrawal from regular activities
  • Be aware that one spouse may be covering for another’s cognitive decline

Self-Care for Caregivers

To maintain her own well-being while managing multiple care situations, Smith developed what she calls her “trinity of sanity”: yoga, chocolate, and beer. She emphasizes the importance of building a support network and maintaining one’s own health while caring for others.

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